Gross Me Out the Door

Two recent instances in which I am reminded again that I am pimply adolescent boy:
  1. "Thanks for buying me soap Di. I was waiting to see how long I could go without bathing"
  2. "I really like my new shampoo. The only problem is that it makes my hair feel greasy after two days. That's two days SOONER than my usual four".
These were actual sentences that came out of my mouth. In front of people. I am prepping to be a very comfortable 80- year-old woman.
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