Nov 25, 2010

Frost

I am sitting at my kitchen table with cold feet and fingers.  It is the epitome of a Fall day out there; it is cold and wet.  It's nice to sit inside and gaze out the window at the rain.  To know that I am warm and dry, and happy and healthy.  

That warmth definitely eluded me earlier today when I rode my bike home from work.  Let's just say a super hot, almost scalding shower was the only thing to knock the chill out of my bones.  The first hot shower of the season.  There will be many more.

The other day I had such a longing for Winter.  I know I am strange.  I was daydreaming and thinking of the first snowfall and how even after 30 years, it is still so magical to me.  It's odd, but when it gets cold enough to snow, I begin patiently waiting.  Always on alert for the first snowflakes to fall, always looking for them outside the window.  And when they do finally come, it is still the one day, every year, when I believe in magic and fairy tales.  It is always the most beautiful thing in the world to me.  I hope that never changes.  It makes me sad for people who can't see past what the rest of Winter means (to them, freezing temperatures, icy roads, storms, frozen toes).  It's a shame to miss out on something so quiet and wonderful. To be able to see the beauty in something so simple, yet so full of magic, is a miracle.


Nov 24, 2010

Snow Patrol

video

It's around this time every year that I keep my eye to the sky for snow.  I love it so much that when it does first snow, I am giddy.  Like a little kid waiting for Santa.  So I am constantly checking the weather report, constantly staring out the window, waiting to see some flakes.  Sometimes my eyes trick me into seeing them when they are not there.  

So when I woke up very early for no reason on Sunday morning, I went downstairs to feed the critters and I glanced out the window and it was SNOWING.  Not a blizzard mind you, but real snow all the same.  Now it has snowed once before here in Toronto, a few weeks ago, but that didn't stick to the ground either.  Believe me when I say a video will be posted of it for real snowing, and sticking to the ground. 

The days are getting colder, darker, and shorter, so it will only be a matter of time.  You may want to mute the video a bit.  I move the camera around and it makes a lot of noise.  So does my nose, because I keep sniffing.  Sorry about that.   Enjoy!

P.S- I think I need my windows cleaned.  Any takers?

Nov 22, 2010

A Beautiful Mind


Dave from Kato Kaka on Vimeo.

I recorded Dave playing the piano this morning.  He had no idea I was filming, so he was getting into it and playing his own lovely music. making it up as he went, without feeling like he was performing for an audience.  I love when he plays like this: so heartfelt, so beautiful.  It's like it just pours out of him.  And this makes me love him even more than I think is possible sometimes. 

Nov 19, 2010

TLC

 We are now up to date folks! This is me, in the present.  No more updates, you have to live with yours truly, in the flesh.  Enjoy!

Last weekend I woke up and felt like spending some money. After drinking a little too much the night before, waking up hung over and eating some bacon (a cure for EVERYTHING), I felt like exploring the world and being frivolous with my wallet (to an extent of course, I am not rich!).  

I had all these ideas in mind: to finally buy a rug for our family room, some art for the walls perhaps?  Change up our bathroom a little?  Buy a new set of dishes, something I have been wanting to do for a very long time? Hmmm.  So off we went with coffees at our lips and plenty of water to hold off the shakes of being a little too old to indulge with such reckless abandon.

Once we had walked here and there, and wandered around some stores (oh the Christmas cheer! Already!), fatigue began to set in.  My happy shopping bubble quickly began to deflate and everything I wanted when I set out seemed to become such a burden to even think about, never mind seek out.  Our bouncy walk had become more of a slow shuffle, and all I could think of was consuming a good meal, having a shower, and going to sleep.  And that's when a great idea struck...

Why not update our bedding and create a cozy nest to spend the next six months of winter holed up in?  This was more exciting than any fancy art or shag rug combined!  So with as much gusto as we could summon, we began to pick out new sheets, a soft comforter, pillows, a memory foam mattress cover, and a luxuriously soft throw to complete the look and coziness of it all.

We assembled our new/old bed and told each other we couldn't wait to go to sleep that night, something that had been lost as of late, as our bed (and room) lacks a comfy vibe to it.  I believe that where you sleep is a very important place to invest some money and time in making it warm and inviting, a place you want to go every night, a place where a restful, restorative sleep is found.  Important to starting your day off right, right?

I think we achieved that with our little investment.  And investment it was, that shit ain't cheap!  The night ended with a delicious dinner in a fancy restaurant (high rollers!).  A half litre of wine and an espresso later, and I was ready to test out the lovely cocoon we have created.  

Night night, dear readers!

 I think Pandorah likes it!

Nov 17, 2010

Playing Catch Up: 8

September 24, 2010

A few weeks ago, I experienced terror in a way that I haven't since I was a kid first playing Nightmare.  Anyone remember that board game?  One of the first interactive games where you popped a video in your VCR (anyone remember VCRs?) which consisted of a scary gatekeeper-vampire-werewolf-type person who led you through the game and made you say and do certain things to win.  I DID NOT WANT TO PLAY.  Why? Because I thought the scary person on the other side of the screen could SEE ME.  That if I didn't do what he said he would somehow...punish me.  By creeping into my room at night and showing me the maggots under his hood? I don't know.  But it terrified me.

But I digress, as usual.  The incident in question from a few weeks ago is WAY scarier, and only because I am old now and can't take that kind of shock to my heart.  I thought I was going to die from the panic.  

Dave and I were fast asleep.  It was three in the morning and not a creature was stirring.  I was yanked out of a dead sleep, which, if you have never been woken up in that way, you are lucky.  It's no good.  It leaves you feeling weird, and no one's heart should beat that fast.   I laid there trying to figure out what it was that woke me up so horribly when I heard it:  piano music coming from somewhere close.  At three in the morning.  Now, keep in mind that I was still slightly asleep and thought that my mind was playing tricks on me.  But then it continued, and as my brain woke up a little bit more, I realized that there was indeed a piano playing.  At first I thought someone was listening to music somewhere.  Why in God's name they would be playing it that loudly at that time of the morning is beyond me, but I do live in a crackhead area.  Who knows what a person who is agitated and paranoid will do in the middle of the night, right?

But then I realized it did not sound like music coming from a radio, but more like PLAYING.  Someone playing the piano.  I thought to myself "Ok neighbour, I get that you like to play the piano, but REALLY?" before my brain kicked in again and reminded me that my neighbours have school age children so it most likely wasn't them.  And then, the realization:  THE PIANO PLAYING WAS COMING FROM INSIDE MY HOUSE.  Once I figured this out, it was like my brain met with the rest of my body.  A huge WHOOSH of realization that woke me up completely.  As in, my body is standing at attention: all 1,300,000 nerve endings are NOT at ease.

Someone was playing the piano downstairs.  Never mind thoughts of ghostly beings in flowing, white, old-fashioned dress; enter serial killer stage left.  The kind of serial killer who's calling card was to play a person's piano before slashing their throat.  My entire body froze. My eyes tried to see through the floor, in order to try and understand what was going on below.  I gently and as quietly as I could, tried to wake up Dave.  This only happened when I squeezed his side in a pincher grip, all the while breathing "DAVE!" out of the corner of my mouth. He finally woke up.  I whisper-breathed, "Someone is in our house, playing the piano".

Now usually it takes Dave a good long 30 minutes to pull himself out of bed in the mornings.  This time? He was up and running in a matter of SECONDS.  He ran down the stairs.  Hmm...not my first choice in handling the situation.  I mean, who RUNS towards their death?  Apparently Dave does.  I heard the music go away.  He came back up the stairs to tell me that one of our cats had pushed the self-playing button on his piano.  PIANOS HAVE THOSE?  Oh my goodness, I thought we were DEAD when it was the freaking cat all along.

Moral of the story: turn off your piano before you go to sleep at night.  And any other thing that plays music or makes a sound.  Because when your cat has a vendetta towards you, they know just how to take you out.

Playing Catch Up: 7

August 3rd, 2010

I have been sort of bummed lately.  I have been missing the days when money that I made was, you know, MY OWN.  Screw you University and your call of knowledge and books.  What did you teach me, other than skipping class?  And now I have to be this super responsible ADULT (barf) who pays her student loans on time.  And now, I never have any money to do anything FUN.

So even though I am a super anal stupid ADULT when it comes to paying back all my shit, no one ever said I was super anal about paying my rent when my landlords were out of town!  HA! That's just crazy talk isn' t it!!???

Our landlord told us that he was leaving the country for two weeks.  He told us this right on the day when I got paid.  The day when I was feeling like I needed a little retail therapy.  So, my mind started turning.  In circles.  And then I smelled a funny smell and I remembered that that was what you intelligent folks call 'thinking'.  Ah yes, it's been a while.  I guess University was good for something.

Anyhow, my brain began doing it's thing and that thing was to tell me that:

1.  My landlord is out of the country for two weeks.

2.  I just got paid.

3.  There is the rent check for the month sitting on my coffee table.

4.  My landlord is out of the country for two weeks.

So I spent some of my damn rent money.  On SKINNY JEANS.  And a handbag.  So there!  Sometimes I am not so responsible.  Sometimes I am spontaneous and throw caution to the wind.  It feels good to be back.  I used to do crazy shit all the time.  Although I guess it doesn't truly count because I didn't have any real responsibilities then.  Sigh.  I guess I will know I am a bonafide irresponsible woman if I decide to have children and one day spend all their college tuition on a new set of boobs. Yeah! Spring Break! Am I right?

So there you go.  I am insane.  I spent my freaking rent money!! AHHH!  What the hell was I thinking?? What if they come back before I get paid in two weeks and demand the money?  I am a horrible person! I need to be stopped!  What was I thinking?

Do you think it would make it all better if I showed them the new mop I bought?  Mops are responsible!

Nov 15, 2010

Playing Catch Up: 6

July 29th, 2010

Yesterday I had the worst day.  Well, not really the worst day, that was just me being dramatic.  I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed though, and I left the house with a frown on my face and darkness in my heart.  

This feeling carried on with me throughout the day, to the point where everyone was annoying me.  I am rational enough to realize that it most likely was not that people were being overly annoying, but that I was overly annoyed.  I was snappy, bite-y, and overall just wanted to go home.  But home was a far ways away, as I was attending an opera that evening that my good friend was involved in.  Tea and pajamas, you eluded me for a few more hours, but it's ok...I eventually made it home to you.

So off we went to the opera, which I was actually looking forward to.  It was a tiny ray of light in my vast oubliette of a day.  But then I started feeling sick people.  And when I feel that way, the last thing I want to do is sit in a theater with a bunch of strangers and fidget around and take deep breaths in order to keep my gorge down below the barf line.  Or my lunch from exiting the trap door.  Sorry, it had to be said.

But once the show began, all my troubles seemed to melt away.  I had never been to an opera before, and I was transfixed.  It was phenomenal.  The actors, the singing, the theater...it was exactly what my body and mind needed to heal from my horrible (self-induced) day.  

"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul."  -Unknown

And it did.

Nov 14, 2010

Playing Catch Up: 5

July 25th, 2010

It's no secret that I suffer from a touch of claustrophobia.  Ok fine.  I am bat shit crazy when it comes to it.  I can't even THINK about a situation where there is a possibility that I might not be able to leave.  Movie theatres, office meetings, anything like that.  I have to take a few deep breaths and tell myself that I CAN leave.  Nothing is keeping me there against my will.  And usually that gets me through the mounting panic. And this is coming from the girl who used to CHOOSE to sleep half under the bed at her best friend's house when we were teenagers.  Maybe it was all the drugs I was doing at the time; made me feel like burrowing into a dark hole or something.  Anyway, most of the people in my life are not new to the fact that Katherine needs to sit in the aisle seat.  Or near the door, or at the back.  I realize that everyone thinks I am weird, but they need to believe me when I say I am planning ahead and avoiding catastrophe.  

So when I had to attend a wake on Thursday and found myself against a wall, in a pew with five people barricading me in, I made it clear that I could not sit there.  Quietly, so it was ok.  Everyone was talking amongst themselves, it was fine.  We were free to come and go.  And go I did, right outside for a bit of fresh air.

I knew a prayer service was being held, so I wrangled my way into the back pew, right on the aisle.  You know, just in case panic were to set in and I would have to quietly let myself out (keep in mind I have NEVER had a panic attack, and I truly believe I never will.  It's just the IDEA of it that freaks me out).  So when my uncle came in right as the service was starting, saw me and asked me to scoot over, I quietly shook my head no.  Smiling all big and pretty of course, and letting him know I would be happy to let him by me if he wanted to sit on the other side of me.  He laughed and asked me again to move over.  And this is when I saw myself through someone else's eyes: a girl with rain frizzy hair, a bit damp looking from the humidity, wide-eyed and frantically shaking her head from side to side, explaining quickly and with rising panic that I can't move over I AM SUPER CLAUSTROPHOBIC WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ME? BY THE WAY MY MOTHER IS OVER THERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO AND SIT WITH HER?  

Holy shit.  Relax Princess.  Move over, take a deep breath, and work through your issue.  Sorry about that Uncle J.  Let's call the situation 'The Mind of A Crazy Creative Being', and leave it at that?

Playing Catch Up: 4

 July 24th, 2010

Dave and I finally slept in our bed last night for the first time in three weeks.  After a long day at work we tidied up our living room and what a miracle it was to see the floor.  For weeks there has been a mattress, a bedroll, blankets, pillows, books, video game controllers, and who knows what else strewn all over the place.  It was a nice sight to see it clean.  I also think it was fate that we pulled all the stuff off the floor when we did and slept in our own bed because right before we were going up the stairs a house centipede (AKA Gaggillipede) scurried across the floor and into a box of DVDs.  If you have read anything on this blog then you will understand that these things freak me out to no end.  I will spare you a picture because they are creepy. 

Update:

We have since spread ourselves all over the floor again.  Having awoken simultaneously at 3 o'clock in the morning two nights ago, sweating to death and all that lovely stuff, it was an unspoken decision to set things up in the middle of the night once again.  It has been hot, rainy and humid.  So sleeping on the floor it is.  It's ok. It's very hippie chic.


Today was spent sleeping in until 2PM, drinking coffee, playing Marvel vs. Capcom 2 (and getting my ass kicked), tidying up the mess I let go all week because I was too stressed to care, and taking a long, cold shower.  Tonight will consist of old episodes of Beverly Hills, 90210, a delicious salmon dinner, and watching Pet Semetary.  All on the floor, mind you.

Nov 11, 2010

Playing Catch Up: 3

You know the drill by now!

July 18, 2010

So...does anyone else feel like 2010 has sucked major balls?  I mean, I know that it is only July and we have 4 and a half months of the year left, but really.  Where has it gone?  When did it pass me by?  In a year or two from now (hopefully BETTER years than this one) I will look back and be all "WTF 2010?  You sucked".  Oh well.  I AM pretty happy about the fact that I have my health.  And that everyone I know is still here and healthy and happy. 

Seriously though, so far the only major awesomeness for 2010 is the big t.v.  2010: The Year of the T.V.  

Has a nice ring to it.


Isn't it beautiful?  See what channel it's on fellas?  That's right!

Playing Catch Up: 2

In a continuation of keeping you all up-to-date with my life over the past few months, here is another one from the Summer:

July 17th, 2010

I have been feeling better today, despite my heavy head this morning.  I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks when I woke up.  Sheesh.  Stress anyone?  I have a whole lot of it for sale!

So in order to try and de-stress a little bit, I am doing my best to not think about money.  Also, even though it feels like the hounds of hell are breathing their rancid breath all over this city, I am making myself soup for lunch.  Soup always makes me happy.

I also have a date with Dave tonight for some two-player action (perverts) in Resident Evil 5.  I love that we just bought a gigantic t.v.  I love that my hours were reduced and I can't pay for it anymore.  Ha!  Just kidding about not being able to pay for it, Future Shop!  Even though I am still unsure of where the $400 in extra costs came from?  Your bill is misleading.  A-holes.

So, enjoy everyone.  Enjoy your soup and televisions and whatever the hell else makes you happy today!

Nov 10, 2010

Playing Catch Up

Hello everyone!  I am back.  Refreshed and ready to write.  Sorry for my long absence, but sometimes people need to disappear and take care of things.  Sound mysterious?  Picture me cackling maniacally right now, and you will have your answer.

The next few posts are going to be things that I wrote over the few months that I was gone.  Playing catch up, if you will.

I am going to label them with the date I wrote them on, until I am all caught up to current me.  Cool?

Here is the first:

July 13, 2010

I have to say that the past two days have been a little hairy.  We were told at work that our hours were being reduced, so that instead of 40 hours a week, we would go down to 30.  At first I was stoked, thinking "Sweet! A day off.  I can spend that time doing what I want, getting in tune with myself".  But, no.  Not going to work that way.  Instead, we do not get a day off, we only get shortened days.  Great.  So not only am I having to budget for a big pay cut while Dave is already not working (he was laid off from this same place), but I can't even get a part time job because I still have to be at work everyday.  Sigh.  Oh well.  Things could be much, much worse and I know that.  At least I rode the wave of optimism for a whole day right? Ha.  If you know me at all, believe me when I say that that in itself is a miracle.

I have been going through my old journals and laughing out loud at some of the things I wrote.  Here is an excerpt from one of them:

"July 13th, 2003

You know what I have been listening to a lot lately?  People's laughter.  I like the sound of it.  I listen to see if it is meaningful laughter, or if it is forced or fake.  I am told all the time that my laugh sounds fake.  I guess most of the time it is.  I have an odd sense of humour and I don't really find stupid things funny.  But I do know that it's been a long time since I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt.  I find that I surround myself with people who share the same sense of humour as I do, therefore I am always laughing with my friends.  But not lately.  Now that I am here, I don't have any friends who can make me laugh the way John or Linda can.  It's not necessarily a bad thing or anything.  Now I listen to others' laughter to see if they are really enjoying their laugh, or if they are just faking it, like most people do".

Don't mind me.  I was a ray of sunshine then.  I just had to give up my lovely apartment in Kingston and move home with my parents to finish university through correspondence.  I ran out of loan money, was starving, and couldn't find a job.  Hence, the happy post.  I was 23 and thought I knew everything.  

Man, don't we all when we're 23?

Nov 9, 2010

A Long Hiatus

But I may be returning soon.