Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans

Since I am obsessed with all things Harry Potter, I decided to pass the time at work today by buying a package of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.  Except the package that I bought was called Bean Boozled.  Something about trademarks and such, but they are still all the same flavours.

Right away you can see that the box reads:


Oh the disgust.  I am not kidding.  

Those geniuses over at Jelly Belly somehow were able to take how something SMELLED...and turn into a disgusting FLAVOUR.  Are you wanting to puke yet? Just get a load of these delicious flavours:

BABY WIPES PEOPLE.  The smell of perfume-y shit.  That is EXACTLY what that one tasted like.  I kept tasting it for the rest of the night.  That one was definitely the worst for me.



The rotten egg was a VERY close second.  Dave went a little green with that one. Because it tastes exactly how a rotten egg smells.  Our friend James had the privilege of tasting that one today, and he had to spit it out.  So nasty.  So genius.



Yup.  Booger.  Tastes like when one of those assholes dislodge themselves and take a little swan dive down your throat.  Nice and warm and salty.  A friend likened it to something else.  I will let you guess what that night be.


So because of trademark issues, they couldn't actually name them Bertie Bott's. So instead you get Bean Boozled...and man do you ever.  Did you notice that there are few delicious flavours thrown in there?  That's so you don't know which one you are going to get because the delicious ones look like the gross ones.


Behold:



Seriously....our faces say it all:




Most likely I just ate some shitty baby wipes.



So, if you are ever brave enough, you need to partake in this little adventure. Just make sure you have something to use as a chaser nearby.  Like 15 shots of vodka because that is how much you are going to need to erase the torture from your memory.

P.S- Guess who's sister is coming to visit this weekend?  Guess who bought another little package of these treats?  

Guess who is next on the Bean Boozled torture show?

Genius.  Jelly Belly...want to pay me to advertise for you?  Because I can vouch for how disgusting these are.  

Call me!



9 comments