Douchey McDouche

by - August 18, 2009

About a month ago I was sent a lovely little letter in the mail claiming that I was delinquent in paying back a two thousand dollar bank loan from the year 2000. Now, this claim was in fact, correct, BUT.....this loan was part of an OSAP loan. I learned that before 2001 OSAP was dealt with through the bank. Right, ok, I vaguely remember going to the bank my first week of university when I had to do about oh, THREE THOUSAND other things in order to be able to attend my school. But I digress....the point is, nobody informed me that since I was finished my post-secondary education at said school, I now had to pay back this $2000 loan.

Now, keep in mind that I have already been paying my OSAP back for the last year so I am NOT a delinquent. I stupidly assumed that this other loan that no one reminded me about was attached to the rest of my OSAP and was being taken care of by my ridiculously high payments each month. Payments that could comfortably allow me to pay a mortgage on a house. A BIG house. But this is not so. It was explained to me by the bank when I called them to complain about the fact that they could have TOLD me before they sent the loan off to a credit collection agency and hurt my feelings that this was viewed as a completely separate loan from OSAP and that I should have been updating my address information so that they could have called me to remind me about the loan. What I dont understand is that when I applied for interest relief for my OSAP every 6 months why: a) the interest relief applied to BOTH my OSAP and this completely separate bank loan (?) and b) why they were not getting my address information from the forms that were applied to BOTH. Fuckers.

So in comes the credit collection agency. I am not going to name any names here in case they do a search and they sue me for more then what they are already getting out of me. First off, these people treated me like a child molesting murderer who killed their dog. Now, when I did my research I learned that they are absolutely supposed to give you the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the repayment because almost 95% have every intention of paying back their debts. There is only a small 5% of people who truly are delinquent for whatever reason in paying back their debts. This is a FACT folks...look it up. And then they asked me for all my financial information such as: a copy of my 2008 tax return, a copy of what I make in a year, and a copy of my last pay stub. WOAH THERE!!!! What the shit??? They are NOT allowed to ask you for ANY of that as that is against the LAW. They cannot, BY LAW, ask you for this information. After I refused the first time I was asked, I was told that everyone had to give this info as it was required by the government. Riiiighhhhttt. Which you ARE NOT. The government already has all of this information so if ever this happens to you, DO NOT submit. You might as well just stick your nose in their ass and start licking, you will get to the point quicker.

It only took 8000 phone calls of them harrassing me until we finally came to a payment agreement. And even though I made it very clear from the beginning that I would be paying this back, they still call to harrass me about paying it back. I am very firm when I tell them that I do not need to speak to them at this time as I have been making payments and they have all of this in their system so they can refer to that. Because of all of this I have been left feeling very lost because they sure make you feel as if they have you by the balls you know? So I consulted a lawyer and this is what he told me:

1) Just as I said above, you are NOT required to give anyone your financial information as that is none of their business.

2) You can tell these people to stop calling you until you are blue in the face but they are allowed to call you up to three times a week and there is not much you can do about that. I say a resounding FUCK YOU might get the point across a little better.

3) In regards to keeping track of what you owe, how much interest they charge, and how much they might possibly be skimming off the top in order to pay for cheap prostitutes to give them blow jobs, they are not required to give you any kind of document that keeps track of this, so keep ALL of your records when it comes to how much you have given them. Ask for updates on your balance every month as they have to give you that, and talk to a supervisor and get them to explain to you just how much is being put towards the principal of the debt.

So there you have it. I would possibly get another opinion from a lawyer as the dude I talked to sounded like he was tired of life, but thats the jist of it. I am only writing this so that other people can learn that they do not have to feel bullied by a bunch of jerks. I mean, I know that this is there job and they need to feed their family just as much as I do, but stop being such a jerk about it!!

I have been making the stupid payments and the phone calls have stopped coming as frequently because of this. When I set this account up on my online banking I did what any mature adult would do in my situation: I named the account Douchey McDouche.

I hope that when they receive the payment that this name comes up somewhere on their screen. DOUCHES!!!

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