My Protector? It's Up For Debate

by - September 23, 2009

Last Thursday I went and saw my friend's band, Heart of a Shark, play at Sneaky Dees here in Toronto.  After oh, a large amount of peer pressure and way too many drinks, I texted Dave who was attending a movie at TIFF, and asked him if he wanted to meet me in the area so we could head home together.  He said that he would. 

I left my freinds and began to stumble my way towards Dave.  It was maybe 1:30 in the morning at this point, so there were many people just coming home from the bar.  I walked fast as I was getting a bit nervous about all the crazy people I had to dodge.  You know the ones ladies, the cat-calling, deisgner-jeans- wearing, travel-in-small-groups-because-it's-easier-to-get-some-tail-that-way types of guys.  I shudder to even think about it.

So as I said, I am getting pretty nervous and am trying to show that I am not scared of some drunken frat boys who are going home alone yet again, by standing up straight and firm, eyes ahead, hoping that the sign on my forehead which reads 'I am nice to crazy people' isn't blinking too brightly.

Enter a gaggle of people ahead of me who are waiting for the light to change.  As I am coming towards them they are shouting and carrying on, having a general good time.  Then I see Dave up ahead.  My heart breathes a sigh of relief.  I stay on my side of the street but at this point I am immersed in the small crowd of yelling vagabonds.  Apparently he has the same idea as I do and is walking fast with his head down, trying to blend into the scenery so as not to call any attention to himself.  And then this is where things start happening in slow motion and I learn that Dave, you know, my lovely boyfriend Dave? In a life or death situation, he would yell, "Take her!" and run for the hills.

As I walk up a little to separate myself from all the people, I swear he looks up and sees me.  He is almost directly in front of me and as I reach out to grab him and let him know I am there, some dude grabs my reaching arm, pulls me tightly to his side and whispers "Can you do something for me?" directly into my ear.  I feel my fingertips graze Dave's sweater and the sound 'Da..' dies on my lips.  And then I see him WALK RIGHT BY ME, I mean so close I can feel the air swoosh as he passes.  He thinks I am trying to entice him!! In his head he is all 'Save me from this crazy bitch trying to grope me' and I am thinking in mine 'Save me from this crazy asshole who IS groping me!'

So I pull away from this guy and have to go RUNNING after my boyfriend.  I call out to him and he smiles and says "Oh hey! How are you?".  After I tell him what just happened he confirms that he thought some girl was trying to get his attention and all he wanted was to get away.  To make me feel better he says, "Well at least you know when I am out I am not paying attention to any other girls right?".

Sigh.  Oh Dave.  You are my hero.

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