Oh The Child I Used To Be....

by - September 11, 2009

I just finished watching an episode of Beetlejuice, the cartoon. Remember that one kiddies?? I used to LOVE that cartoon when I was a sniveling pre-teen.

So Beetlejuice's thing, if you want to call it that, was that he ate bugs. You know, what any normal poltergeist would do. And every time he ate one it would go CRUNCH! and Lydia would cringe. Sigh...I miss watching that show while eating my corn flakes in the morning.

So after watching and reminiscing, I was reminded of this one time when I was 15. I was living with my sister in Kingston and we uh, were not financially comfortable if you know what I am saying. Anyway, one day I decided to make some microwave popcorn. I poured it in a bowl and happily began munching when my sister asked me to accompany her to the store. I agreed and without even thinking it would be an issue I placed the bowl half-filled with popcorn onto my windowsill. We proceed to go the store.

We get back a couple of hours later and you know, I am hungry. And I am all 'Yes! I have almost a full bowl of popcorn to eat!'. Pure excitement!! So I grab the popcorn, plop myself on the couch and start blindly eating. My sister then asks me if I want to mix some of her ketchup chips in with my popcorn. Being a stoner at the time I am all 'Yeah dude! That sounds
awesome!' After I am about 95% through eating it ALL, I look down and say to my sister "Woah weird...it looks like the little red flecks of ketchup chips are moving". And then I look closer. I am sticking my face in the bowl. And well, they ARE moving. Because they are red ants. And I just ate the majority of their family. Like, 2000 of them.

So I ran to the bathroom and am gagging at myself in the mirror. And then I start thinking of when Beetlejuice used to eat his bugs and how he would smile really wide and you could see their little legs and arms sticking out of his teeth and it's all I can think about.

So what do I do? I smile really wide at myself in the mirror for a while and think it's the funniest thing in the world.

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