Saturday Night and Who Has the Biggest Umm...

by - December 08, 2009

On Saturday I was in the mood to go for a beer at a local pub.  Since the area that I live in has next to no good bars, and the few we do go to we go to all the time, I decided to suggest one that we had only been to once before.  Now, there is a reason we have only gone there one time as it is tucked away from the street, a dark, dingy bar that houses some pretty colorful sorts that I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. 

Jess and I had decided to check it out a while ago, wanting a break even then from the two pubs we usually hole up in.  It certainly has the potential for being a really cool place, what with the long interesting shape of the room, the Van Gogh reproductions on the walls, the many candles that offer a warm inviting glow, and the jazz playing softly in the background.  The only problem is that it is situated in a very poor area, one that my mother would not approve of me visiting.  Unfortunately for me, it's the area I live in, so I am used to it.

My suggestion was met with approval by each party, as well as that only one drink would be consumed in order to get home and warm and out of the crack void as early as possible.  Beer was ordered and the atmosphere was nice.  We were essentially the only ones there, except for the biker party that had parked themselves by the bar.  There were a few obnoxious yells and insults coming from that section, but mostly they seemed harmless and friendly. 

At one point a few of the rowdy ones went out for a cigarette and when they came back in one of them yelled out, "YEAH WELL HE HAS A BIGGER COCK THAN YOU!".  I thought that this was yelled out by a big burly man, but it turns out that a woman was the one with the choice words.  I quietly asked Dave to make sure, just for my own knowledge, "A woman said that, right?".  He nodded his head in agreement and we moved on.  Just to let you know in advance here, I am down with the burly biker chicks.  In fact, I love them.

Later, after the daring one beer had been consumed, we left the bar to make our merry way home when we noticed that a pretty intense fight had broken out outside between the biker lady and another man.  The man was cowering in a corner while the biker babe stood over him screaming "You are nothing!  Do you hear me?? Nothing!".  Wow.  The wrath of a woman.  I wonder what he did to her to make her react like that?  Let another pretty girl ride doubles on the back of his bike?  Insult her wheels?  Insult her cooking?  We said our goodbyes and parted ways, all the while nonchalantly ignoring the fact that World War Three had begun right in front of us.  It's the way you gotta be in the hood kna'mean? 

As Dave and I were walking away we heard a voice ringing out in the frosty air, the woman, telling that man exactly what she was going to do to him:


Woah.  I think SHE has the biggest dick of them all.

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