Oh My Word

by - January 14, 2010

It's been a busy few days.  I have not had much time to myself in the evenings, and therefore no time to write.  I don't like that.  But, I love my friends and figure I shouldn't hole up like a troll all the time.  So I visited around a bit.  And then went to the symphony which was lovely.  And tonight was my first class in intermediate sewing.  Yeah, I know what intermediate means: we sit around and drink coffee and whiskey and talk too much, not getting anything done, and in turn have to bring our work home.  Like homework.  Only this is rad homework.

Just a few highlights of my day:

1.  I remembered at around 9PM that I took a shower this morning.  My eyes lit up and a huge smile crossed my face.  I proudly exclaimed "YESSSS! I took a shower this morning, which means I don't have to think about doing that for a while yet!"

2.  I washed the dinner dishes tonight, and at one point noticed that Dave was keenly interested in my technique.  He was particularly interested in a few items I did not scrub, but instead squished the sponge against.  He asked, "So those don't need to be scrubbed?  Just squished, I see".  Well, duh.    It's the squish wash technique.

3.  While talking to Jess about a song that was stuck in my head, I told her about some of the crass lyrics that explain just exactly what the man is going to do the lady's nether regions.  Umm...he uses the word 'whistle', let's just leave it at that.  Jessica's indignant reply?  "Uhhh...if that is happening to her down there then there is something INCREDIBLY WRONG".

But the ultimate thing that happened today was one of those things that make you wonder about humankind, and what went wrong.  Kind of great really, when you think about it long enough.  A little background:

Jess asked me if it would be alright to stop at the corner store.  I said of course.  We stepped inside and there was a middle aged man standing at the counter paying for his purchases.  He turns to look at us when we come in, and I can't help but notice his lingering gaze.

He pays for his goods.  He then proceeds to turn to us and say the most inappropriate thing you can say to two woman:

Douche:  Soooo, which one is the mother and which one is the daughter?

Me:  UMMM...

Douche: (Points at me) Mother.  (Points at Jess) Daughter.

Jess:  Uh yeah, thannnkkksss.

Me: UMM...you do not get my thanks on that one FRIEND.

Douche: (Points at me)  You look like Tom Cruise's wife, uh what's her name? Katie Holmes.

Me: Wow.

Douche: (Pointing at Jess)  And you look like Mother Teresa.

Woah.  Now I love me some Mother T, but in all my memory of this woman, and I went to a Catholic school for 20 years, she was not a looker.  He brushed passed us muttering "Bye Katie Holmes" under his breath, leaving us open mouthed and in awe.  And we didn't even get his phone number.  Dammit.

And I was all set to have a good old fashion three way with Katie Hardon, Mother Trollop , and this guy:

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