Curtains Match the Drapes

by - January 23, 2011

Today I woke up and checked out the what the weather was going to be like, as this is something I do every day.  The second I open my eyes.  Because I need to know.  

This places me in a very good position: people talk to me and always ask me about the weather.  Small talk without the awkwardness, because in this case, they REALLY want to know. Also, everyone thinks I am awesome because at any given time, I can tell you what the temperature is.  Maybe even a little something about barometric pressure if you are so keen.

Just a teeny aside here, I have to say that I find it strange when people are completely oblivious to the weather.  I mean, OBVIOUSLY they can look outside, or even walk out there, but to NEVER know what it is going to be LIKE? For shame.  This is a neglectful way to live.  Especially when you walk in the door at work everyday complaining about how cold/ rainy/ hot it is and how you didn't dress appropriately for the weather.  I shake my head at your obliviousness because there is a little something that can help you out with being more's called THE FORECAST.

Anyway, wow...all those words that have nothing to do with this story.  

So, I checked the weather and saw that not only was it going to be effing cold today, but it was going to be like living in the ARCTIC tomorrow.  And Dave and I had to go grocery shopping.  There was no way I was going out in -27C weather (-16F) to pick up a few necessities.  No way.  I suggested to Dave that we go today, knowing that he was very busy.  He said as much to me and I acknowledged it, but then I was EVIL and suggested we go to our favourite breakfast place.  He excitedly said yes.  To which I replied, "Sweet! Since we are already out there, lets go pick up those groceries!".  Ah yes, I am the devil in disguise.

We are waiting to order at our favourite place, standing just behind this older man who looked like he was barfed off the page of a Wrangler ad, when we hear him say to the poor server (who is a woman), "Mmmmmm", (licks lips) "I love the red heads...I bet you are a natural aren't ya?".

Ummmm...ewwww!  What a douche bag!  The girl was so uncomfortable that all she could do was bore a hole in the counter with her glare.  Why would this man think that saying that is appropriate?  It is not cute or appreciated by people who have to work in customer service who are forced to deal with gross old men.  It is not a compliment.  Actually, when faced with the comments of gross old men, we wait for you to leave and we tear you apart with our co-workers.  And we all vomit in our mouths a little thinking about you. 

So, note to gross old men:  keep it to yourselves eh?  I only WISH that girl had said, "YES, the curtains do match the drapes, and you are the LAST person on this earth who will ever get to see it".

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