From Adult to Child in Less Than 24 Hours

by - January 22, 2011

Yesterday I decided to try and get pre-approved for a mortgage.  I know right?!  What an adult thing to do.  Only....not really.

I did it for fun.  I know damn well that NO ONE is going to approve me for a mortgage, never mind PRE-approve me.  But I thought I would give it a shot.  You know that whole 'hope for the best but prepare for the worst' fortune cookie mantra I got when I was 15?  WELL!  I got a NEW one and it promises that good things will happen to me this year!!  And a fortune cookie is NEVER wrong.

So I went for it.  There were two questions in particular that I had to answer truthfully.  They went a little like this:

Down payment amount: 0

Savings: 0

Think I will get pre-approved with those amounts?  Ha! Like I said, it was all in good fun.  Little did I know that they actually assign a real person to CALL you after going over your application.  If I had known that, I wouldn't have wasted anyone's time.  I thought it would simply be an email telling me how big of a loser I am and to try again next time.  Talk about bad karma.

I was telling Dave all about my 'serious' application for a mortgage when my phone rang.  It was my assigned person from the bank! Shit!  Because I was just telling Dave about it and laughing, it all became a bit ridiculous really.  So when she asked me why I put zero dollars down for those entries, and I heard my ludicrous answer of "Because that's how much I have", I had to pull the phone away from my mouth so she wouldn't hear my laughter.  And then I REALLY had to stifle my giggles when she told me in all seriousness that it's hard to get approved by the bank with nothing in the bank.  SIGH.  I went from being an adult to a child in less than 24 hours.  No one will ever take me seriously now.  In five years when I for real want to buy a house the bank will look back to my 'joke' application and deny me for being such a smart ass.  

Thankfully I didn't waste too much of her time as she asked me if it was too late to call.  Well, yes actually, it is almost 10PM.  Who calls that late?  She asked if I preferred an email and I said yes.  

At least she won't hear me laughing when I read her email denying me a mortgage.

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