Keep Me Grounded, For I Am a Star

by - February 23, 2011

Cha cha cha.  That's me laughing.  Because guess what I did guys?  I sang in a commercial.  That is for real going to be aired on t.v.

Woah! What?  I know.  Did you guys see the video of me singing in this post?, or uh, HEAR me singing in that post?  Yeesh.  Angels singing? No, not even close.

I don't claim to be a 'singer'.  Actually I claim the opposite.  But when Dave was commissioned to compose music for a commercial and he was told that he needed a female singer for it, I jokingly told him I would do it.

"Oh yeah?", he asked.

"Um, NO.  I was kidding".

But then one thing led to another and I found myself nervously fidgeting in front of a microphone.

"You can't play with that thing in your hands when we start recording".

"Uh, kay", as I threw the thing I was fiddling with to the side.

"Try not to shift around too much, the mic will pick it up".

I was a statue until he made the motion that we had begun recording.  He had already composed the music, so I had to listen with one ear on a set of headphones and sing over the music.  When he sang the jingle to me beforehand, I couldn't hit one of the notes.  I walked around singing it at the top of my lungs to practice and just could not hit the note he wanted me to.  He found this strange because the note I kept missing was a 'normal' note in most people's voices (I don't even know the right term here).  Well, I never claimed to be normal.  HENCE SINGING FOR A COMMERCIAL WHEN I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL SINGER.

After a while I developed a strange way of saying the word I was messing up on without it losing the way the word sounded.  Huh.  Maybe I am a professional! Ha! A professional dufus!

We did twenty takes in a row.  I told Dave he couldn't look at me while I was singing.  Even then, in the first 5 takes I kept laughing.  The next  five were okay. I asked Dave how I sounded and he answered with, "Good, now put a smile in your voice.  It's all about the cheese factor".

Okay.  So I did.  I cheesed the shit out of it.  The last ten takes were pure gold when it came to commercial jingles.  I refused to listen to it once we were done, and allowed Dave to work his magic in whatever way he could to salvage the wreckage that was sure to be my voice work.

Uh, they loved it.  The producers and stuff.  So now it's going to be on t.v.  

Shit.  What did I get myself into here?  My cheesy voice will be played all over the nation.  

Five bones for an autograph.  Ten for a picture.  I'll try not to let this one go to my head.

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