Motivation Deprivation

by - July 14, 2011

So when I started this 'getting fit journey' of mine, I weighed 158 pounds and now I am 143.  I say that so nonchalantly (believe me when I say that) because I am not concerned about my weight.  I am concerned about being fit and feeling strong and healthy.  And I do.  Yet like any journey in life, there are bumps in the road.  I am facing a big one called motivation.

Look at the cats. Lazy assholes. Or maybe they are my fat cheerleaders? Keep reading, they come back into this blog post at the end. Scene stealers.

Making sure I am all stretched out.  By the way, want to know who motivated me to start this whole thing?  Raymi the Minx, that's who. Girl is FIT.  And I thought to myself "damn she is hot...I could try that". Only my work out post is ghetto and not pretty and hers are gorgeous and she looks gorgeous. I just look sweaty. Thanks for the motivation mang!

Having said that, motivation is waning.  I feel stronger, I can barrel up hills without wanting to die, yet still, I have plateaued in my feeling strong feelings. So I upped my workout level and I have been doing it for a while and I still feel like I can't do it. I can't conquer the exercises. They make me feel weak. Like how I matched my weights to my yoga mat? Yeah me too. 

BUT...I would rather lay down and die than give up. Logically I understand that giving up will only perpetuate my weak feelings because I will actually get weaker. See the logic there? And I have worked too hard to get this far.  

Walk out push ups.  Ugh.

It doesn't mean that I don't think about cramming an entire cheesecake into my mouth EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. I stare longingly at desserts as if they are a drink of water in the hottest desert.  

Look!  I died!

Dave sent me this picture yesterday when I was at work. The orange cat, Pandorah, is a fat lazy slob. She sleeps upstairs in the boiling bedroom all day, and every once in a while she will scream for us to come up there to pet her. To put her back to sleep, if you will. Because she deserves it for all the hard work she does around here.

Look at her! She FELL ASLEEP on top of the other cat. I picture her roiling down the stairs like molten metal, like the T-1000 in Terminator 2, only to attach herself to the first warm thing her fleshy body could find.


Company picnic tomorrow.  Can't wait for THAT one.


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