Life Has Just Begun — Pandorah's Box

Oh hello there. Welcome to the I didn't feel like doing my hair show. This is what happens when I wash and go. Cool hair Katherine. And I know what you are going to say: "What's wrong with it?". Well, nothing, RIGHT NOW. Let the joy of the day take you on a soon to be limp dick hair journey.

On this here day of days, I got up at the crack of dawn to get to work early so that I could drive a hundred years away to Jess's new house. I had not yet been there, and had only seen a few grainy pictures, so it was time. Time to visit the place where my sweet Jess will build her life. A different life. One filled with a gorgeous house and a (they went to the chapel and got married!) husband, and hopefully one day, kidlets.

But what a house people. Two hundred years old, out in the middle of nowhere, quiet, serene. Guess who has a new vacation spot? That's right, me. When the craziness of the city gets to be too much for me, this is where I will retreat. HEY JESS, GET A POOL WOULD YOU?

We drank a beer and she took me around her amazing house. It took a long time to show me around.

Holy wallpaper. The entire house is covered in it. THAT'S going to be a bitch to get off. I'll make sure not to answer the phone that week when they call for my help. Just kidding!

I bet Jess loves the brass on the fireplace, after all, she is Italian.

Creepy stairs. I think there are ghosties on these stairs. If I remember correctly, these are the original stairs from 200 years ago, and they gave me a chill to walk up them. Does anyone else think about how much history a house has? Who walked up those stairs before I did? Were they nice, did they live long, what did they wear? Maybe since the stairs turn a sharp corner, we can meet them on the other side as they greet us in their rotting death robes.

Looking into the bedroom. Such a cozy bedroom it is too.

WHOA HOLY SHIT! I walked into this room and my guts felt instant relief for some reason. If this room doesn't make a person happy, then that person probably drowns puppies in ponds.

I like the wallpaper in this room.

They have another full kitchen on the second floor. Weird old houses! I think that's pretty cool, although if it was easier for me to eat ice cream all night long I probably would with a kitchen right down the hall.

Original front door that no one uses anymore. Yeah, it's one of those houses. The kind that is so big that it has a few different doors to the outside. I have one. If that doorway was on fire, I would be toast. Literally.

Sweet little Romeo and Juliet porch. I love it.

Ahhhh....and this is what you see for miles around. Gorgeous isn't it? I bet that corn sounds amazing blowing in the cold wind. They have already had tons of snow. I don't envy them THAT, but hey, they get to roll out of bed, continue rolling down the stairs and into their office chairs. Kind of like Homer Simpson when he was trying to wreck Moe's car by driving it off a cliff. So I do envy them THAT.

SEE THE HAIR?

More bedroom. Where the magic happens. I just barfed.

This was another creepy room, but I loved it. I love the whole house.

Gah scary backyard!

Part of their land is church land, as their house used to be a church. And a post office, and a school I think. So every once in a while the church people come and fix the flowers and water their little patch of grass, and they leave. For some reason, this creeps me out. CHURCH PEOPLE, COMING BACK TO THEIR LAND, ooohhaaaaahhhh.